You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize