There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
