That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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