Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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