Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
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Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize