girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
