I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
