capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Randomize
