It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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