all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
