He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
