is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
