remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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