my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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