i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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