There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
