Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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