We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
