Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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