I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
