Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
