How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
