Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize