Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
