; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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