using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
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There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
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If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize