after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
