i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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