Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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