Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
how drunk are you?
Several
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
