finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
