so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
