NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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