She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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