his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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