I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
