my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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