u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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