As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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