I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
