Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
