So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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