I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
