I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
