So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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