Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I need to align my fucking chakras
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
