Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
