so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize