I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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