There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
