i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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