I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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