ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
