Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
