beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I need moral support for this bender
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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