ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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