yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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